Alternative Jellicle Scenes
by JellicleStar48
Summary: this is just my random insanity coming out...some are pretty funny, some are just plain stupid...leave me reviews!!


*~*~*~*A/N: This is the product of insomnia, too much coke, and a whole package of Peeps (healthy, huh?). Anyway, I was watching CATS, admiring Bryn, when I had the crazy idea to warp some of the scenes…some of them are pretty funny, some are more stupid than funny. Let me know what you think!! (It's also in Movieverse)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own CATS, or any of the Jellicles (unfortunately). They belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber, T.S. Elliot, RUG, and all them peoples. And I am in no way trying to offend anyone with these alternate scenes, it's just my insanity. Thank you.

~Alternate Jellicle Scenes!!

*~*~*~*

MUNKUSTRAP: Jellicle cats come out tonight, Jellicle cats come one come all, the Jellicle Moon is shining bright, Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball!!

(crickets chirping)

ELECTRA: Mr. Munkustrap, sir? It's two in the afternoon.

(Munkustrap looks up, then to the sunglasses-clad Jellicles)

MUNKUSTRAP: Oh, right….well, I'll just…be going.

*~*~*~*

TUGGER: (singing) And there's no doing anything about it!

ELECTRA: Why?

TUGGER: (surprised) Um…because…I…said so.

ELECTRA: Why?

TUGGER: (looking even more surprised) Because…I said…(sees Alonzo)…because HE says so!

ALONZO: Hey, don't bring me into this.

ETCETERA: (to Alonzo) Why?

ELECTRA: (to Tugger) Why??

TUGGER: (looking desperate) Because that's what the song say!!!!!!

ETCETERA: (to Alonzo) Why don't you want to be brought into it??

ALONZO: Because, Electra said so!

(Everyone blinks, confused. A/N: Hell, even I'm confused)

BOMBALURINA: Well, if you want to know what I think…

ETCETERA and ELECTRA: Nope, no one cares, go away.

BOMBA: (Ignoring them) Well, I think that Tugger is Tugger, no matter wha-OW!!! (she gets hit by a toy mouse.)

ETCETERA: (wistles innocently)

BOMBA: Why you little…

ELECTRA: Rum Tum PLATO!!

TUGGER and PLATO: Say what?? (they look at each other, confused)

ELECTRA: (Rubbing up against Plato, seductively) I love you…

PLATO: (putting his arm around Electra) So, you wanna go back to my place?

(Electra nods excitedly, Plato carries her away)

VICTORIA: Oh no she did not just go off with my man to go scr-OUCH!! (gets his with a toy mouse as well)

JEMIMA: Oh shut it, you big crybaby.

ETCETERA: I just wanna know…WHY??????

(The rest of the Jellicles walk away)

*~*~*~*

(Plato and Victoria are doing the Mating Dance. He's just run his paws down her chest)

VICTORIA: (gets up, runs around, screaming) Call the Police!! Call the Police!! I"VE JUST BEEN VIOLATED!!! VIOLATED I TELL YOU!!!!! (Runs off)

(The Jellicles just blink at Plato)

PLATO: What??

*~*~*~*

(Macavity appears)

DEMETER: MACA- wait a minute.

MACAVITY: Yes?

DEMETER: Come here.

MACAVITY: Why?

DEMETER: Because, I wanna see something. Now come here.

MACAVITY : (wimpers) yes ma'am.

(he walks over to her, she looks at him carefully)

DEMETER: You sure do look an awful lot like Plato.

MACAVITY: Do not.

DEMETER Do too.

MACAVITY:….so????

(shocked "NO"s are heard from the Jellicles, Jellylorum stalks over to them)

JELLYLORUM: Plato!! What did I tell you about dressing up like other cats, and scaring people??

PLATO/MACAVITY-WHOEVER HE IS: But Mama!! I was just having fun!!

JELLYLORUM: By scaring poor Demeter?? Next time, have your fun a Munkustrap's expense!

(Blank stare from Munkustrap, who is terribly confused, as Jellylorum drags Plato off by his ear.)

TUMBLEBRUTUS: I always wondered why Plato disappeared whenever Macavity came.

ETCETERA: Well, if that wasn't Macavity, then who IS Macavity??

DUN DUN DUN!!!

*~*~*~*

JELLICLES: Oh, well, I never was there ever, a cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistofelees!!

(Misto pulls the red carpet up, supposedly to reveal Old Deuteronomy. Instead, a Playboy Bunny appears)

MISTO: (turns red, looks around) That wasn't supposed to happen….

(Scan the Junkyard to show Plato, Tumblebrutus, Pouncival, Admetus, Alonzo, Tugger, heck, even Skimbleshanks, Munkustrap, Coricopat, Mungojerrie, and Asparagus sitting on the ground, with their tongues hanging out of their mouth, drooling.)

*~*~*~*

THE END!!!!!

*~*~*~*A/N: okay, I know that was totally insane, and I have a lot more alternative scenes, so if you wanna see them, let me know!!! Leave me reviews!!!!


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